The Talk...

As you now know a few days ago I found out that my first born son had has his first kiss, first experience with masturbation and asked me how a girl has a orgasm. Last night we had the oh so ominous talk. I was up again all the night before going over in my head the right dialogue trying to solidify the perfect response to this situation on my part. The key to a successful discussion of this nature is speaking to your kids in a language that they can comprehend. Maybe he will really heed my advice if I can get to him on his level.
I called him in trying to remind myself that this was a discussion and not a lecture, after all I want him to keep coming to me and opening up to me, feeling like he can always tell me anything without eliciting a negative response. He tells me that earlier that day he did kiss this girl again even though I had told him the night before I did not want him kissing her again. Even through my irritation at his defying my rules I did appreciate his honesty. I went on to try and explain to him that he was just too young to be engaging in these little dalliances. We went back and fourth finally with agreeing to hold off in the romance department. Next came the topic of his proclivity towards masturbation. This I told him was perfectly normal but a private thing and needed to be treated as such. It was not something to be joked around with to his friends or to ever be discussed with a girl. I explained the proper etiquette if you will and he seemed to understand. Even though I do know that this would be happening soon and that it is indeed normal for him to be curious about his body and such, it still provokes a sense of sadness in me. Not the act itself just the fact that my first born is no longer a little boy. That he is now starting to have these feelings and these urges and that it is only going to get stronger. I am now on the puberty path and now it is my job to keep his pee pee in his pants and to make sure the only hands that touch it are his own.
This brings me to my point that both of these kisses happened at school during school hours. I can keep him safe and protected here but what do you do to make sure they are being good at school. Last year two sixth graders were caught having oral sex in the bathrooms at school. This is not going to be my child ever. It is amazing how much peer pressure there already is in the 5th grade. The one comforting thought is that I know my son and his character. I know deep down that I don't really need to worry but I really have no idea how deep these curiosities go in his mind, do you ever really know. My parents sure didn't. That is why it is so important to me to keep these lines of communication open, with the perfect mixture of understanding his side from a kids POV yet not being to much of a pal instead of a parent. It is a tricky thing.