Why Can't We Have It All...

Why is it that being a Wife and a Mom isn't enough? Why do we feel the need to be SuperMom... Can we really have it all? Is there such a thing as enough hours in a day? I am a Wife, a Mother, a Business Owner, a Daughter, a Sister, an Aunt and a Friend. All of these titles are important to me, even though I always feel like I am doing all these jobs half way and where does this leave me? Can you really be all of these things to everyone else in your life and have enough left over for yourself? I struggle with these questions everyday. I want to be the kind of person that can do it all, I really do. There just isn't enough time or enough of me to do them all correctly. So I pick the most important, which is Kids, Husband, Family of course. Then the rest of it a lot of the times get put on hold. Most of all I get put on hold. Now that I am working again it is a whole new struggle, and a whole new me. No longer am I a stay at home Mom. You have no idea how weird that feels, and how guilty I feel for not being here all the time. My youngest son Nolan is taking it very hard and every time he calls me begging me to pick him up from his Grandma's, my heart breaks. Am I causing some kind of lasting damage that I am not aware of. My Mother worked all the time and I hated it, which is a big part of why I stayed home with my kids all these years. I didn't want to miss out on getting to see them grow up, I didn't want someone else telling me stories about all of the wonderful things they did each day, I wanted to be there and see it for myself. Even though there were many times I wished I was at work, being a stay at home Mother is the hardest job in the world. Going to work is so much easier in comparison, so am I taking the easy way out? Does he understand that I am doing all of this for him so that he and his brother can have a better life? Can a 10 year old fully process that? The fact that my oldest son Xander is so content to stay with my mother is just as heartbreaking. Granted Nolan has always been a Mama's boy and Xander has always been close to his Grandma, which I always really liked. Now though that I don't get to see him as much I admit I do get a bit jealous every now and then. Can we as Moms ever really have it all? I don't know, but I will keep trying my best everyday, and hope that for now that is enough...